Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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