We need to rekindle our bromance
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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