Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
