hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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