Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
