Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
