i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
