I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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