Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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