Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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