So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
