It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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