Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
