I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
