i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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