Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
