Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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