Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
