Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
