He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
