in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
