false alarm. still invincible.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
