Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
