its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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