i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
