is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
