Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
