dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
