i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
