You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
