i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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