you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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