Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
