The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
