I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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