My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
