Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
