Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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