She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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