it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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