Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
