Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
