I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
