drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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