I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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