Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
