Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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