I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
