The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
