She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You made out with two different species that night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
