She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
