they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
