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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
