i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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