So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
