on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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